Fit & Fabulous

I have exactly 8 months of my twenties left.  8 months before I leave 29 behind and cross over into my 3^rd decade of life.  As each day passes, I feel a little more anxious about the number 30.  When you’re young you think thirty is “old”.  As you tack on the years, you realize that thirty is still pretty “young” in the grand scheme of things.  Still though… it’s a milestone and not one to be taken lightly.  Who am I kidding… it’s a MAJOR deal.  It’s a birthday I may or may not celebrate with my face in a paper bag, counting backwards from 10.  DIRTY-THIRTY.  Ugh.

I have but one goal – to be “fit and fabulous” at 30.  Sounds simple enough, right?  Let me define…

·         Fit (v.):  “To be the proper size and shape.”

·         Fabulous (adj.):  “Extremely good, pleasant, or enjoyable”

Accomplishing Part 1

At one time, I was athletic enough to hold my own on the YMCA Dolphins swim team and through 7-9^th grade volleyball.   I had a mean under-hand serve, over-hand though… not so much.  I distinctly remember the first day I blatantly lied about my weight to my peers.  It was during an after-school practice Freshman year.  I knew I was the biggest girl in the squad and when I heard the girl closest to my size utter her weight, I followed suit knocking a good 30 pounds off to somewhat measure up.   That’s right… THIRTY.  Eek.

I didn’t try out for 10^th grade volleyball… the shorts were too short & my thighs too big.  Looking back I wish I had stuck with it, clearly I needed the physical activity.  But I wasn’t strong enough to handle being “the big gal” in the cruel spotlight of high school, so I sank back into the shadows.  I had plenty of friends, but never dated in high school.  I was just the girl who was friendly – not girlfriend material. 



2001-2002



My first boyfriend surfaced in college.  We met on the internet.  He loved me for who I was.  We ate out… a lot.  I ballooned to a size 22 and 242lbs.  He didn’t seem to notice.  When I finally did, I went on a do-or-die slim fast diet and started dropping pounds and sizes.  On my 21^st birthday I celebrated being of the legal age to drink and fitting into size 18 jeans.  My confidence shot up, consequently - we eventually broke up.   I got down to a size 10 when I graduated from college in ‘03.  Since then - I’ve been through an unsuccessful engagement, several hit & miss guys/dates, and now am settled in with my FH (though not officially yet).   Unfortunately my weight fluctuates up and down just as much, if not more, as the relationship roller coaster.  Trust me, I LOVE roller coasters – but not on the scale.  Seven years after dropping over 80lbs, I have gained some of that back and am now a size 12-14.  It’s a slippery slope.  Thankfully I’ve kept the bulk of it off and feel quite versed in knowing how to combat shifty metabolism, hidden calorie bombs, and hunger pangs.



2003



Now – with 8 months left I vow to COMMIT to WINNING the battle once and for all (or at least until I have kids – that’s a different story).  It’s not about a size or weight.  It’s about being comfortable in my own skin.  Being confident both IN my clothes and OUT of them.  Hello birthday suit.

Accomplishing Part 2

When I say “fabulous”… I don’t mean super trendy, covered in bling, and front row at fashion week.  Fabulous to me is entirely mental.  I could use a solid boost of self-esteem and unwavering confidence.   I tend to be incredibly positive evaluating the lives of others, but have a tendency to be negative when things concern me.  I don’t know why – maybe I downplay things, so as not to sound TOO excited, TOO relieved, or TOO worried.  I would rather play the even-keel card.  A fine quality to have yes – but I need to lighten up and let myself get carried away by certain things.  This is life after all, we only get one shot & I don’t want to miss my chance.  (Cue Eminem here) 

So I have 8 months to take a step back and see all the GOOD things about myself, rather than just magnifying the bad or the parts in need of improvement.  While I’m at it – there are a few character flaws that need ironing out.  I want to walk (or party) into decade three with my head held high and my thoughts secure, even after just passing by a floor-length mirror.

Despite the personal changes I wish to make – I am clinging to the fact that many believe your 30’s are far better than your 20’s and as I approach the same cosmic shift I sure hope “they” are right.