Fit & Fabulous

I have exactly 8 months of my twenties left.  8 months before I leave 29 behind and cross over into my 3^rd decade of life.  As each day passes, I feel a little more anxious about the number 30.  When you’re young you think thirty is “old”.  As you tack on the years, you realize that thirty is still pretty “young” in the grand scheme of things.  Still though… it’s a milestone and not one to be taken lightly.  Who am I kidding… it’s a MAJOR deal.  It’s a birthday I may or may not celebrate with my face in a paper bag, counting backwards from 10.  DIRTY-THIRTY.  Ugh.

I have but one goal – to be “fit and fabulous” at 30.  Sounds simple enough, right?  Let me define…

·         Fit (v.):  “To be the proper size and shape.”

·         Fabulous (adj.):  “Extremely good, pleasant, or enjoyable”

Accomplishing Part 1

At one time, I was athletic enough to hold my own on the YMCA Dolphins swim team and through 7-9^th grade volleyball.   I had a mean under-hand serve, over-hand though… not so much.  I distinctly remember the first day I blatantly lied about my weight to my peers.  It was during an after-school practice Freshman year.  I knew I was the biggest girl in the squad and when I heard the girl closest to my size utter her weight, I followed suit knocking a good 30 pounds off to somewhat measure up.   That’s right… THIRTY.  Eek.

I didn’t try out for 10^th grade volleyball… the shorts were too short & my thighs too big.  Looking back I wish I had stuck with it, clearly I needed the physical activity.  But I wasn’t strong enough to handle being “the big gal” in the cruel spotlight of high school, so I sank back into the shadows.  I had plenty of friends, but never dated in high school.  I was just the girl who was friendly – not girlfriend material. 



2001-2002



My first boyfriend surfaced in college.  We met on the internet.  He loved me for who I was.  We ate out… a lot.  I ballooned to a size 22 and 242lbs.  He didn’t seem to notice.  When I finally did, I went on a do-or-die slim fast diet and started dropping pounds and sizes.  On my 21^st birthday I celebrated being of the legal age to drink and fitting into size 18 jeans.  My confidence shot up, consequently - we eventually broke up.   I got down to a size 10 when I graduated from college in ‘03.  Since then - I’ve been through an unsuccessful engagement, several hit & miss guys/dates, and now am settled in with my FH (though not officially yet).   Unfortunately my weight fluctuates up and down just as much, if not more, as the relationship roller coaster.  Trust me, I LOVE roller coasters – but not on the scale.  Seven years after dropping over 80lbs, I have gained some of that back and am now a size 12-14.  It’s a slippery slope.  Thankfully I’ve kept the bulk of it off and feel quite versed in knowing how to combat shifty metabolism, hidden calorie bombs, and hunger pangs.



2003



Now – with 8 months left I vow to COMMIT to WINNING the battle once and for all (or at least until I have kids – that’s a different story).  It’s not about a size or weight.  It’s about being comfortable in my own skin.  Being confident both IN my clothes and OUT of them.  Hello birthday suit.

Accomplishing Part 2

When I say “fabulous”… I don’t mean super trendy, covered in bling, and front row at fashion week.  Fabulous to me is entirely mental.  I could use a solid boost of self-esteem and unwavering confidence.   I tend to be incredibly positive evaluating the lives of others, but have a tendency to be negative when things concern me.  I don’t know why – maybe I downplay things, so as not to sound TOO excited, TOO relieved, or TOO worried.  I would rather play the even-keel card.  A fine quality to have yes – but I need to lighten up and let myself get carried away by certain things.  This is life after all, we only get one shot & I don’t want to miss my chance.  (Cue Eminem here) 

So I have 8 months to take a step back and see all the GOOD things about myself, rather than just magnifying the bad or the parts in need of improvement.  While I’m at it – there are a few character flaws that need ironing out.  I want to walk (or party) into decade three with my head held high and my thoughts secure, even after just passing by a floor-length mirror.

Despite the personal changes I wish to make – I am clinging to the fact that many believe your 30’s are far better than your 20’s and as I approach the same cosmic shift I sure hope “they” are right.

Little Moments, Big Magic

One of my favorite pics: Circa July 2005

The day I met my little sister she was a few days shy of turning 10.  She was halfway through her fifth grade year, looking ahead to being a big time middle schooler.  She was shy at first, but opened up easily as soon as the emotions of finally having a big sister settled in.  It was December.  Her peace offering was a candy cane.  She hesitantly, but proudly, gave it to me as we sat at her grandmother's kitchen table going over the goals for our relationship with the case worker.  I love candy canes.  Little did I know, I'd soon love her as if she were my sibling by blood - and not just a mentorship program.  We've been "matched" for 5 years and 9 months now.  The term "matched" seems so... cold.  But really, we couldn't have been paired up more perfectly.  Thanks to the efficient workings of Big Brother Big Sisters, we're a perfect fit.  The recipe for any long-lasting relationship.

February 2009

Today, my little is 15 going on 16 (sometimes 25).  She's a few days into her sophomore year of high school, trying to stay focused on grades, but loving the social scene.  She can text at lightning speed & is now as active as I am on Facebook.  Her first boyfriend has already come and gone, perhaps a little too intimidated by her no-nonsense father, who was all too unimpressed by the subject matter of "crushes" & "boys".  She is blossoming into a smart, confident, beautiful young woman - right before my eyes.  If you catch me at the right moment, I'll get teary-eyed over the thought of her growing up, but also at the grateful notion that I will be there every step of the way. 


The last time we hung out, she said to me, "We should have a sleepover before the end of summer!"  I, of course, was all too happy to oblige.  You see, as a mentor, I am expected to be a good role model, a trusted confidant, a consistent source of support, and most importantly a friend.  I pride myself in being all of those things, but thankfully... I have SO much fun along the way, that I forget about the "mentor" title.  I'm just her big sis.  I get just as much, if not more, out of our relationship as she does.   So, bring on the slumber party!  I needed a good, carefree girls night too.


Our night in a nutshell:

• The MSU vs. WMU season opener at Spartan Stadium in East Lansing.  It was her first time at a Big Ten football game and I'm a Michigan State alum, so it was perfect.  Thanks to the anonymous person who donated tickets for BBBS matches, we had the BEST time!  Go GREEN!
• Dinner at Sagebrush Cantina in Fenton.  We LOVE getting Mexican food together, it's kind of our thing... :) Yum!  We are mildly obsessed with chips & salsa.
• Perfecting our rock 'n roll skills during hours of playing Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock.  She loves the video game and it's a total guilty pleasure for me too, so it's a win-win.
• Staying up late to watch the original Nightmare on Elm Street.  She picked it up at her local library before coming to my place.  She gets a kick out of scary movies and we laugh at the lame scenes.
• Eating a big bowl of sinfully delicious ice cream:  Hudsonville's Cake Batter flavor with bits of yellow cake & chocolate frosting swirls anyone? 

September 4, 2010

Regardless of what we do... I am so grateful for the time we get to spend making more memories together.  At the core, Big Brothers Big Sisters is all about creating "little moments, big magic" that last a lifetime. 

…“just” the 5K walk

As many Michiganders know, this past weekend (August 28th), Flint hosted the Crim Festival of Races.  The annual event, now looking ahead to its 35th year, brings a massive number of athletes to the Vehicle City for one of the nation's largest 10-mile road races.  For good reason, the 10 mile is the event's most popular race, but the Crim also boasts others from an 8K run & walk down to the Teddy Bear Trot for the little munchkins.  The Crim started in 1977 as a fundraiser for the Special Olympics, so to this day there is also a race honoring those athletes: The Lois Craig Invitational.  Literally... something for everyone.

This year - a record number of people (10,000+) participated in the 10 mile run.  I was not one of them.  My mom, who at 52 is probably in the best shape of her life, was.  It's her 6th year actually, which I find quite impressive!
 

My mom Sande on the left with her running pal Cindy.

Have you ever run 10 miles?  I haven't.  I'd rather go to the dentist.  The mere thought of running around the block makes me break out in a sweat & look for an excuse as to why it's a bad idea.  I have successfully completed ONE running event in my adult life: The Shillelagh 4 Mile Run/Walk.  It wasn't so bad, but I'm sure every runner in a 50 yard radius could hear my labored breathing.  I had to run a single mile in under 10 minutes to pass 9th grade gym class.  It took me 2 tries and I barely made it.  I should have known that moment was an indicator of my future athletic endeavors (or lack thereof). 

A few days before this year's Crim - my boyfriend's cousin & mother invited me to join them for the 5K walk.  I hadn't intended to participate but had already planned to be there in support of my own mom & others.  So I decided... SURE, what the heck!  I registered a day before the race, proudly picked up my "free" Crim T-shirt & my official race bib.  My very FIRST Crim event ever... this was big.

L-R: Me, Phyllis, Jenni, & Diane

Over the next 24 hours or so, dozens of people asked "Are you participating?".  To which I'd respond, "Well yea... but JUST the 5K walk", nothing to write home about.  Nearly everyone would say: "just? At least you're DOING something!"  I'd just brush them off thinking, yea... but it's not the big 10-mile.  Now THAT'S something.  It wasn't until I crossed the finish line, just as proud of my little 5K walk, did I realize they were right.  It's not about always being the most fit, the fastest, the best-trained.  It's about accomplishing a goal.  Sure, I could have pushed myself to do more (and maybe one day I will), but I genuinely had the best time.  I got to cheer on my friends in the 10-mile, hang out with my dad & aunts while waiting for my mom to finish, socialize with my bf's family on our walk in the beautiful sunshine, and simply be part of an event so much bigger than me. 

So the next time you try to down-play your involvement remember, at least you're doing something.  Even for those who DON'T register for a race, supporting those who do is just as important as competing.  If you haven't witnessed the Crim crowds, I suggest you do it - at least once.  Try not to get choked up when the wheelers cross the finish line or when you see an 85 year old man rockin' the sweat band, pushing hard around that last turn.  Pay close attention to those you don't expect to see.  The young woman with a prosthetic leg, determined to prove that anything is possible or the most nonathletic of racers motivated by a vision of being a healthier version of themselves.  Age, body type, fitness level... it's all relative.  Determination takes the gold.

And so it begins...

I have been tossing around the idea of creating my own blog for a while now... so I'm finally following through!  I have to admit, it's all coming to fruition at this late hour due in part to the unforeseen inspiration of a fellow blogger (props will come later).  Why wait!?    

I have no expectations... only the simple goal of "Living in the Moment".  Seems easy enough, right? As we all know - endless distractions and the never slowing hour-glass of time make it easy to get caught up & forget to take some necessary pauses to simply appreciate & savor the moment!  

I intend for this blog to be a personal outlet.  Keeping it simple will - I hope - allow me to go in any and every direction... all dependent on my mood, my experiences, and of course my vantage point of life and self. 

Thanks in advance for your support!